Date: May 24, 2011
Location: Jonavan's Room
Synopsis: A look at the journal that Jaya later steals.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Logger: Jonavan

A slim tie closes the pages of the leather-bound journal, giving away its secrets with a firm pull on its tie – drawings and sketches half-finished, spidery writing neat and slanting with a curl to it labeling this here and there, medical details intermingled with notes to himself. And then, scattered throughout, scraps divulging something different.

Cheers, darlin.

if I wasn’t so screwed up

Drunk and fucked up.

Bits of soul. Fragmented, coalescing only in concert with the larger whole.

This isn’t a compromise. Better than fucking Crom by far!

A letter stuck in among the pages, well-read for well-creased. Several aborted starts to a reply, none of them going anywhere, vague comments on Eastern merely crossed out, others so scribbled out that only a few words come through clearly at a time.

Sorry for – well enough – you get pregnant? – you should have left me sooner. You got what you wanted.

Pages and pages of fall foliage, documenting the death of a season.

At one point, a list of plans for some do in the Harper Hall. Music, a dance, nothing too formal. A venue for the harpers to show off their skills for a crowd of their peers and the others who happened at the Hold and its attached Halls, practice for bigger and better.

Must get a room. Make Evie get flowers or some shit like that. I will kill her if she tells Ellis. I will kill Ellis if he so much as smiles the wrong way. I might kill him anyway. She says she doesn’t like Turndays so make something up.

Turning the page, there is only a single line scrawled in the middle in an uneven hand.

Serves me fucking right.

Much later, six whole pages of hyssop. One after another, different angles. None finished. A palpable dissatisfaction. A phrase for explanation.

Can’t get it right.

Soundtrack: Florence and the Machine - Hardest of Hearts

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